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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst single thing you could do to someone? Start dating them"

"""I definitely have the biggest penis in this room,"" I announced drunkenly at the party. Slightly ruined my son's 13th."

"Cat with mental disorder The psychiatrist just diagnosed my cat for having dissociative identity disorder. She now have 45 lives."

"What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it"

"Did you hear about the tornado that swept through the cemetery? Hundreds dead."

"You left a note on the fridge saying ""This isn't working. Goodbye"" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don't get it."

"According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame"

"What is a wock? Something you throw a wabbits."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if you were named Auuurraaagggghhh!"

"If my DVR cuts off the last joke of my favorite sitcom one more time, I swear im gonn... **FREMULON**"