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Joke of the Day

"A bunch of kids from the varsity Minecraft team bullying an athletic loser who brought a football to school.. Visions of future war"

"BARACK OBAMA WAS BORN IN 1961. 1+9+6+1= 17. YOU KNOW WHO USED TO BE 17 YEARS OLD? HITLER."

"One day I mixed my girlfriend up with flour and butter then I stirred in some milk and sugar. She's scone now..."

"Are you a pilot? Because I'd like a trip straight to Djibouti."

"professor gave us a 2000 word essay... So I gave him two pictures."

"What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn."

"I NEED JOKES ABOUT TREES Don't ask questions, I just really need non-offensive tree jokes and fast! Thank you for your help!!!"

"What do you call a group of slow extremist Muslim Dr Who fans? Tardis..... I will see myself out.."

"Why do blondes have one more brain cell than cows?... So when you pull on a blonde's tit, she doesn't s**t on the floor."

"Torturer: I will break you Me: Do you wear that hood to hide your sadness? Torturer: *broken* ah hell man I just wanted to be a chef"