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Joke of the Day

"A bunch of kids from the varsity Minecraft team bullying an athletic loser who brought a football to school.. Visions of future war"

"I want my children to be independent headstrong people. Just not while I'm raising them."

"I guess you could say I like my life how I like my coffee I don't like coffee"

"NEWSFLASH: Billy Corgan has permanently lost his voice, and can only lip sync his songs... Going forward his band will be known as 'DUBSMASHING PUMPKINS'."

"You mother is such a whore . . . she was hired on the spot at Pillsbury for her extensive yeast collection!"

"Why is 17 called the ""mother-in-law"" in black jack? Because you wanna hit it, but sometimes you cant."

"You never realize what have till its gone........ Toilet paper is a good example of this."

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None- that's hardware."

"During my last prostate exam I asked my doctor to stick in another finger. Because I wanted a second opinion."

"It's a shame that zip is not an on-the-fly compression algorithm."