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Joke of the Day

"I was Hungary... ...So I Russia down the stairs, made a Turkey sandwich and had a chocolate Malta for dessert."

"Me: Siri, how do I look? Siri: Well, at least you tried"

"I used to think my drawings made me autistic... it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston."

"Movie Idea: Lohan. Bynes. Statham. DEATH RACE 2"

"(warning racist and horrible humor, NSFW) How do you start a rave party in Ethiopia? Nail a piece of toast to the ceiling"

"I bet old hobbit ladies watched a lot of ""Mordor, She Wrote."""

"What kind of dog always needs a shave? A bearded collie!"

"Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him? Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY."

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar It was tense"

"""There's plenty of fish in the sea"" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone."