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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."

"Hot tip: Apparently it's frowned upon to make the sound effect tssst when being blessed by a priest"

"I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel... We really opened a can of wormholes."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken."

"What's George Washington's least favorite flower? Li[e]-lacs!"

"Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?"

"Just took a huge Nicolas Cage movie."

"Damn girl, are you from Tennessee? Cause your the only ten I see"

"I just had the worst experience with a mosquito. It sucked!"

"Me: how was your date? Friend: I ruined her panties. M: Wow that's hot man. F: No she got food poisoning from my cooking, bro."