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Joke of the Day

"I think my wife is suffering from Bulimic Amnesia She keeps eating and eating and eating, and then forgetting to throw up"

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"Did you hear about the useful kid who jerks off too much? He cums in handy"
"Why was the doctor so stressed out? He lost his patients..."
"What's 12 inches long and white? Nothing."
"I got punched in the face by a hipster today... I yelled ""Bro, that's not cool!"" He replied, ""not yet""."
"What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other? Same time next month?"
"My financial situation is so bad, I'M being sponsored by a child in Africa"
"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean."
"This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that ""it stays in your system forever,"" so I swallowed a table to stick it under it."
"What is the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."
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