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Joke of the Day

"I'll bet even homeless people look at funeral homes and think, ""Nope. I'd rather stay out here."""

"Have you seen the trailer for *Constipated*? That's because it hasn't come out yet"

"What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones."

"Who do you call for the console police? WiiU"

"Two soldiers are in a tank. One says to the other, ""I'd better get out and dry myself."""

"Every time Larry picked up his colleagues in NJ and drove them to NYC, his wrists started hurting. He was diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome."

"What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? Decalfinated"

"My towel is now in two pieces, rip. Rip, your parents' condom XD"

"You know you live in a small town when.... ....the only hooker is still a virgin."

"Did you hear about the blonde that won the gold medal in the Olympics? She was so proud she had it bronzed."