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Joke of the Day

"Friend: ""This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend."" Me: ""This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come when I call him."""

"An optimist believes that we live in the best world. A pessimist is afraid that it might be true."

"When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say ""Excuse my French"" One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand"

"After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is"

"What's Michelle's favourite vegetable? Barackoli (I'm sorry I'll leave now...)"

"What's black and white and red all over? A bioracial double homocide."

"Did you hear about the newly announced cure for Parkinson's Disease? It's in a bottle with instructions to ""shake well"""

"What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub? Throw in your laundry."

"While at our wedding, I pointed out to my wife-to-be... that her her veil wasn't nearly opaque enough. She responded by discreetly implying she would hit me. It was a thinly-veiled threat."

"When do spare parts from Japanese cars start falling out of the sky? When it's raining Datsun cogs."