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Joke of the Day
"I was just reminiscing with my friends about our day out at the clock museum... ...good times!"
Next Joke
"A man and a woman are sitting next to each other... The woman says ""If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."" The man says ""If you were my wife, I'd drink it."""
"Hey, Can I take you to Hogwarts? Because I'm 9 and 3/4."
"How many Swedes does it take to clean a men's bathroom? None because they pee sitting down."
"I have a clear conscience until a police car pulls behind me. Then I'm like ""OH GOD WHAT IF I MURDERED SOMEONE DID I MURDER SOMEONE"""
"Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day? Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly."
"In America saying you're the bomb is a compliment but... In Afghanistan it's a question."
"I can't stand when guys complain about their girlfriends giving shitty hand jobs I see where they're coming from, but something about it just rubs me the wrong way"
"What do you call an old John Cena? John Cenile"
"A redhead tells her blonde step sister that she had sex with a Brazilian. The blonde says, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a Brazilian?"""