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Joke of the Day

"*Rides off into sunset* *forgets mobile* *Rides back*"

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's not what you're thinking, I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"Next time during church, stand up and ask your pastor ""Have you ever turned down heroin?"" Both Yes and No are equally entertaining answers."

"I really want to drive private or hired cars. But I don't have anything to chauffeur it."

"TV sitcom idea: Wacky copy editor who yells ""nailed it!"" even when he didn't, also he's alone as mankind was obliterated by a viral pandemic"

"I'm not a great lap dancer, I've got two left cheeks."

"Hubby: ""Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?"" Wife: ""I don't want to bother you while you are at work."""

"What's Funnier then an Obama Joke? DEZ NUTZ!!!"

"What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the dock."