102556
Joke of the Day
"My wife said she was leaving me because I'm too kinky I almost choked on her piss when I heard it."
Next Joke
"I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage."
"Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk"
"CD worms made tapeworms obsolete."
"Pizza Hut Employee: I'm sorry but we don't deliver bog grass. I'm not even sure what that is. Moose: [incoherent bellowing]"
"You're so fake... Even China denied they made you"
"""She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts."" -Romans 1:15"
"[first day as tour guide in New York] Me: that's the Statue of Liberty Guy: what is she clutching Me [awkward long pause]: all the liberty"
"How do you make a little boy cry twice when your finished wipe your dick on his favourite teddy bear"
"What are we gonna do with all this extra cocaine? The previous sentence has never been spoken in the history of earth"