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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your mouth!"

"I wish I had emo hair So it would cut itself."

"I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe. I don't care how big a spider is, nobody steals my fucking shoe!"

"I never misused the word ironic, ironic right? it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!"

"There's only two kinds of people in this world: people who know how to use conjunctions, but people who don't."

"I couldn't find my eye drops today It seems like eye dropped it. :|"

"What did the Pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey!"

"What is Bruce Lee's Favourite Drink? WOTAHHHHHH"

"A little kid's in school taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says ""What are you doing?"" He says ""Checking my answers."""

"Had to replace the condom I carry around in my wallet yesterday Just heard they have a 5 year expiry date."