102154

Joke of the Day

"[hears baby crying in the next room] ""It's ok, I'll go."" [gets in car & goes to a motel]"

"My wife used to make meals that would make Martha Stewart jealous. Then she joined Twitter... Now I'm lucky if she buys cereal."

"What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christ ler"

"Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory? He didn't like being spoken to in that voice"

"I stand in the tampon aisle and when a woman reaches for a box, I snicker and say ""you're gross""."

"Why did they bury the Scottish man on the West side of the hill? Because he was dead"

"Hey girl, do you like bad boys? [drinks milk from carton] Or REALLY bad boys? [eats spoonful of yogurt one day after expiration date]"

"Excuse me sir, where do you keep the ""Whoomp""? Oh, there it is."

"I had an ex-girlfriend who was rather big, and she possessed an unusual talent; she was ambidextrose - she could polish off a box of chocolates with either hand."

"What kind of beef are you most likely to catch masturbating? Stroganoff"