102070

Joke of the Day

"The next person to tell me I should quit smoking for New Years is gonna be responsible for me breaking this year's ""no murder"" resolution."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? [NSFW] I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"LPT: Always make sure to post to the correct subreddit. It is an embarrassing mistake and most people will think you're an idiot."

"I'd like to thank my dad for always being there for me From the day I was conceived to the day he found out my mom was pregnant"

"At a wedding where the minister told everyone to stand next to the person who makes life worth living. The bartender was almost trampled."

"So a skeleton walks into a bar and says ""I'll have a beer and a mop"""

"Who was the blind horse jealous of? The seahorse."

"What do you call all Republicans that aren't racist, sexist or homophobic? Nancy from New York."

"Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)"

"How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick."