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Joke of the Day

"Went to my friend's house for a night of drinking... ...crashed on the couch. I was awoken in the middle of the night by my friend blowing chunks. Chunks is the family dog"

"Boss: ok just bear with me *I growl and start clawing the air* B: wtf are you doing Me: I..You said.. B:first snail mail' now this..Just go"

"As a ginger person, I find tanning to be easy I just go sit underneath the full moon."

"Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians? Everyone."

"Clowns divorce. Custardy battle."

"If time means money... ...then an ATM is **A** **T**ime **M**achine."

"How many bad joke tellers does it take to screw up a - wait, shit."

"[REQUEST]: Looking for Altitude Competition Flying Joke Looking for the old joke about several pilots bragging about their flight altitudes (?), and then the last one one-upping them all."

"So much gross product placement in THE SHINING. It's like, fine, I'll buy an axe."

"In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters."