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Joke of the Day
"Two peanuts are hanging out with the wrong crowd... One was assaulted!"
Next Joke
"12,000 BCE: Humans hunt woolly mammoths with stone-tipped spears. 2012 AD: I apply acne medication to my cat's chin."
"Hey big accounts - What's it like to tweet ""My cat sneezed"" and get 500 RT in the first minute ? My cat would be dead before I got 50"
"I am a Buddhist atheist, I hope I'm reincarnated as a atheist Buddhist."
"My rebellious teenage son robbed our local Chinese food restaurant ""You stole all of their chicken?!"" Tso"
"Are you a pilot? Because I'd like a trip straight to Djibouti."
"Autocorrect turned your lynch mob into a lunch mob? Maybe if you ate something you wouldn't be so angry."
"What do you call a self proclaimed straight woman? A liar"
"A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire."
"What do you call Atheism? A non-prophet organization."