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Joke of the Day

"How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here"

"Has anyone seen the trailer for the latest Tom Cruise movie? He can't go to the bathroom at all. It's called Mission Impissable."

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

"I like Jews how I like my cookies. Cooked in an oven"

"You can't run in a campground, you can only ran because it's past tense."

"People with a sense of humour are so much easier to talk to and get along with."

"What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12."

"Do retarded people know that they are retarded? Person A: Do retarded people know that they are retarded? Person B: I don't know, do you?"

"I wish scientists could make us as indestructible as cartoons. I've got a list of people I'd like to drop an anvil on."

"""I just launched a new fragrance!"" - fun way to announce a fart"