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Joke of the Day
"What is a 6.9? A great thing, ruined by a period"
Next Joke
"I had the left side of my body cut off... But I'm all right. EDIT: I just realize that whether the left was cut from the right or the right from the left is a matter of sincere argument."
"How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?"
"An anteater walks into a bar... ""First the horse, now this asshole"" remarked the bartender. Credit: u/reduxde"
"Job interviewer: ""Why do you want to join the Secret Service?"" Me: ""It's a secret."" Job interviewer: ""You got the job."""
"I asked this vampire to think quietly about what he'd done but then I remembered they can't reflect."
"If you touch your computer in all the right places... You can turn it on"
"If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet."
"How High Are You? Officer: How high are you? Me: No Officer, it's hi, how are you?"
"I'm so good at cutting things into little pieces and showing them who's boss I **decimate** tests."