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Joke of the Day

"There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above"

"Wife: ""I've made the chicken soup"" ""Thank god for that. I thought we had to eat it!"""

"My cousin is a terrible proofreader. He always drinks a bottle of Jack Daniels before he checks my work."

"Why doesn't George R. R. Martin use Twitter? He killed all 140 characters."

"I've always had a problem finishing what I've started..."

"PJ time - Slogan behind an auto rickshaw I couldn't afford Volkswagen. Thus, Auto"

"What do you call a Mexican riding a bike? Wow. You guys are some racist fucks. He's a bike rider. On a bike he probably stole."

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the ""P"" is silent"

"My girlfriend's accused me of cheating with a girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. How can she say that?!?!"

"What's the difference between Santa and Justin Beiber? Santa stops at 3 Ho's"