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Joke of the Day

"My kid just randomly recited my wife's cell phone number that we had no idea he knew. Now we're getting fitted for suits and hitting Vegas."

"What's in a name? Mainly, letters that make sounds."

"Why didn't the man go under the boardwalk? He doesn't like giving in to pier pressure."

"78% of black men like sex in the shower The other 22% haven't been to prison yet"

"I like you but not save your life before a dog's life like you."

"Whenever I shake someone's hand as I meet them and they say ""The pleasure's all mine."" I quickly look to see where their other hand is."

"Almost done with my peanut butter & jelly sandwich and I now notice the bread is covered in mold, If you need me I'll be bathing in bleach."

"What does the devil eat in Japan? Sin Pie Edit: TIL There is an actual pie called Sin Pie in the southern states."

"[Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't let a garbanzo bean on my face"