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Joke of the Day

"A bird in hand may be worth two in a bush, but a nut in a bush is worth two in a hand."

"How did the pollock die raking leaves? He fell out of the tree."

"I was driving today... And saw a sign that said, ""Steamed Crabs"". I began to wonder: ""What made them so mad?"""

"George R.R. Martin finished Winds of Winter!"

"What did the strawberry say on December 25th? Berry Christmas!"

"It's all shits n' giggles... Until someone giggles and shits."

"What do you call nuts on the wall? : walnuts. What do you call nuts on a chest? : chestnuts . What do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"I thought I would enjoy a baby shower... ...but who wants to be covered in red spaghetti? Plus the little holes in the showerhead seem to clog a lot."

"I keep getting claustrophobic in elevators. I've been taking steps to avoid it."

"The past, present, and future walks into a bar. It was tense."