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Joke of the Day

"ME: Sorry boss, I can't make it in today. Because of Ebola. BOSS: You have Ebola? ME: No but someone does and I am FREAKING THE HELL OUT"

"My heart hurts when you're not around *buuurrrrpp* Never mind"

"If realigion isn't real then why does it have the word ""real"" in it?"

"I went to an illiterate psychic I couldn't get a reading"

"If you see a swarm of jellyfish, DO NOT enter the ocean. It's a no-brainer."

"i got complimented on my driving earlier they left a note on the car saying parking fine"

"Womens Rights"

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She was not wearing a seatbelt..."

"Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally."

"If it's illegal for clowns to walk around town... Then why can they run for president?"