99545

Joke of the Day

"yo mama so fat when she get on da elevator it says next stop hell"

"I had 4 cars been their horns at me this morning... It made it really hard to watch Netflix on my drive to work!"

"Every couple weeks I pour a little cocoa powder and hot milk down the sink as a pick me up for any struggling mole people."

"if you turn the patterns on their shirts 90 degrees... the trusted REFEREE becomes the despicable PRISONER.... truly life is a fragile Bitch"

"American Horror Story: Walmart Bathroom"

"Before kids: I'd choose going blind over going deaf. After kids: Deaf! I wanna be deaf!"

"Late to bed and late to rise . . . Makes a man who will serve french fries."

"When the instructions say so easy a child could do it, I assume you mean one of those genius 12-year-olds who double major at MIT."

"Why Eiffel Tower is so high? So the white flag can be visible from Berlin. Sorry :P ."

"I'm not suggesting Cher is a nazi, but at no point during ""If I Could Turn Back Time"" does she mention killing Hitler."