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Joke of the Day
"""Sir you can't bring a whole cake into a movie theater"" ""What if I cut it in half?"""
Next Joke
"It's amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate."
"What kind of tie is best to wear in a fight? Muay Thai"
"What do you call a statistician watching a bull fight? A mathador."
"Does anyone know a cure for excessive ear wax. If you do, please give me a shout."
"When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread... it's called gluten tag. I'll show myself out."
"What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino? Hell if I know! (elephino)"
"You can catch a decent buzz from smoking catnip but don't be surprised if you wake up on top of the fridge."
"ME: I'll have the burger. WAITER: And how do you like your burger? ME: I don't know. You haven't brought it to me yet."
"And now I spend the rest of the day worrying about whether or not I removed the sticker from the apple I just ate."