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Joke of the Day

"Hey buddy I was reminded of you this morning. But then I flushed the toilet and went on about my business."

"I dont know why people are disappointed when they find out a celebrity crush is married.As if that was their only obstacle to being together"

"I met a sick bird yesterday that got deported. The cops kept yelling about him being an ""ill-eagle""."

"You know what I hate about fashion designers? They are so clothes-minded."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender asks ""Do you want a drink?"" Descartes says ""I think not,"" and *poof*. He's gone."

"After a concert Bono started clapping and then said ""Every time I clap, a child dies in Africa"" . . . Someone from the audience chimed ""Stop fucking clapping then"""

"My friends David reviewed Auschwitz on Tripadvisor... ..he gave it a star."

"What's something that you can catch but not throw? feelings. T.T"

"I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy ...and my face smashes right into the mirror."

"How did Kim Kardashian break the net? She sat on it."