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Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, I'm no doctor but I can diagnose your condition... You have acute butt"

"Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him? A sick Bern."

"What kinda meat does a priest eat on Friday? nun"

"To all my Atheist and Agnostic friends. T_IF!"

"The bartender says we don't serve time travelers 2 Time Travelers walk into a bar"

"HR: ""You've put Kurt Russell down as an emergency contact."" Me: ""Yeah, I'd like to meet him before I die. Dude is a legend."""

"So then someone told me Islam is the religion of peace."

"My dog loves me, but he also eats his own poop. I don't think I can trust his judgment."

"ME: will it hurt? DR: u ever been stung by like, 500 bees? ME: omg no! DR: ok. that's not what it's gonna feel like. I was just wondering"

"what's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a child? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."