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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, where are all the bastards?"" Puzzled, I looked at my four year old son in the mirror. ""What do you mean?"", I asked him. ""Well, when mummy is driving there are bastards everywhere."""

"If you dont believe in Oral Sex, keep your mouth shut"

"A wolf in a river didn't know w(h)ere it was, so it how-led and an owl ""who'd"" back. The wolf replied ""What?"""

"""This is bullshit"" - bull farmer giving barn tours"

"""Hi doc!"" ""Hi! What is that behind your ear?"" ""Nice try, too old for the coin trick"" ""No it's a tumor"" ""Oh my god"" ""Kidding it's a quarter"""

"What's black? What's black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith."

"What do you call it when you jerk off in the bath? Mastubation"

"Woody Allen's version of his life will be his most brilliant fiction."

"Two friends: - I heard that you have founded a musical band. - Yes it is a quartet. - How many are you? - We are three. - Three? - Me and my brother. - You have a brother? - No why do you ask?"