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Joke of the Day

"I can't take the time to exercise but I did some killer cardio pacing indecisively in front of the Ben & Jerry's section of the supermarket."

"I see you've chosen to express your midlife crisis with cologne."

"I took a photo of the thing I use to play my guitar. It was a lovely pic."

"Chris Christies mom told him to run. She didn't mean for president though..."

"I'm working on a book for dyslexics right now. It's incredibly difficult, cause I'm doing it all in palindromes."

"what did the peanut say to the squirrel ??? he said im hungry and I'm as tired as a tree"

"I now determine the days of the week based on Twitter. Is it Follow Friday yet?"

"Why are hula dancers so pretentious? Because their hips stir."

"9 y/o daughter: dad, what's your favourite healthy food? Me: fruits. Your's? 9: Eggs Me: Good 9: like Reese's peanut butter eggs"

"how do you catch a unique bunny? unique up on it. :) How do you catch a tame bunny? The TAME way!!! favorite cheesy joke."