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Joke of the Day

"I've been told I'm a compulsive liar and a hypochondriac but I don't worry about it."

"Ek sardar Kele ke chilke se fisal kar gir gya Aage phir dusre chilke se gir gya ab teesre chilke ko dekh kr k bola...?? Shit ab phir se girna padega"

"HER: You didn't make a reservation? ME: I got this. (to Maitre D') Perhaps *this* will jog your memory? M: A handful of Skittles, sir?"

"honey the ppl of atlantis lost an entire city & thats like 2000x bigger than a baby so idk if all this yellin is necessary"

"My wife kicked me out due to my obsession with rubbing different types of pasta. Im feeling cannelloni right now."

"what's the difference between a cat and compound sentence? one has claws at the end of it's paws...the other has a pause at the end of it's clause."

"Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again."

"What do you call a hooker's fart? ... ... A Prosti- Toot!"

"What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common? Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite..."

"Why didn't the Mexican guy at work take out the trash at work when I asked him? He had *senor*-ity!"