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Joke of the Day
"Shark Week is just a holiday invented by the underwater camera industry."
Next Joke
"My daughter can be so cruel... Her: Hey dad, what is the difference between broccoli and boogers? Me: I don't know, what? Her (pointing at me): YOU, don't eat your broccoli!"
"A gardener fell from grace and forgot how she once was. So she went back to her roots."
"Dear Abby, I never thought this would happen to me. Today I met a sexy woman who told me I write letters to the wrong publication."
"What do you say when you find two banana peels together? Answer: A pair of slipper"
"""VROOM VROOM! VROOM VROOM VROOM! SCREECH!"" - Entire script for Fast and the Furious 6"
"Me: Why is gay marriage such an issue now-a-days? Friend: Because people are FUCKING ASSHOLES! This can be taken in two ways and both are correct."
"What does laundry day and the 1950's have in common Color separation"
"""Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?"""
"The worst part about crapping my pants at work was having to set the ACCIDENT FREE sign back to zero days in front of everybody."