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Joke of the Day

"5-year-old: *hits her sister* Me: Keep your hands to yourself. 5: Me: 5: *kicks* Me: And your feet. 5: Me: 5: *headbutts*"

"1. Cover elevator floor with glue. 2. Put ring on floor. 3. Wait for someone to kneel and get stuck. 4. ""Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"""

"What do you call an inexperienced Egyptian God? Anoobis"

"How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black? Have you ever tried to take a rib from a nigger?"

"I had a dog named Herpes once. He was a good dog, but he wouldn't heel."

"What's the difference between girls of our generation and peanut butter? One spreads easily and the other is peanut butter"

"Some people look for a perfect relationship, but all I want is a cheeseburger that looks like the ones on commercials!"

"My ex-girlfriend had eczema She had a cracking fanny."

"My name is Leon but some of you know me by my street name, 9th avenue."

"If you can't be interesting, please at least have a completely insane allergy."