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Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."

"Do you know why police dogs are called K9? Well, because if they used ""K10"", they'd be cats."

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free"

"Make the little things count....... teach mathematics to midgets"

"I don't want this month to end because the puppy on my calendar is extra cute."

"Why do bird watchers invest so much money in breast cancer awareness? Because they are greatly satisfied by seeing Tucans."

"My Grandfather was one of those Unorthodox Jews. He was a Nazi."

"I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician... ...when I pulled a habit out of a rat."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"I can't wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon. I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line."