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Joke of the Day

"Yoda: A Jedi, you will not be. Train Chewbacca, I will. Luke: But why? Yoda: Better piggyback rides, he gives."

"Hi, 911? I see someone from high school in this coffee shop and they're the type to corner & chat me up and I don't know what to do HI LAURA"

"I love the album Abbey Road so much I think I'm going to name my first daughter ""Road."""

"when the ice cream man drives down my street I walk alongside him screaming TAKE ME WITH YOU I WILL BEAR YOU MANY STRONG SONS"

"What crime did the impotent rapist commit? Viagra-vated Assault."

"Want to hear a clean Joke? Johnny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty one? Bubbles is a man"

"Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope's car."

"I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, ""What's up mate, won't it start?"""

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"How did the Shepherd find the sheep in the tall grass? ... Satisfying."