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Joke of the Day

"I recently saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand. Must have been an insight joke..."

"Why did the demon get arrested? Posession"

"Reddit has taught me this in case I ever have a daughter. Never ever get a full size mirror installed in her bathroom."

"I never picked my nose. I was born with it."

"Why are yachts and ships so scary? Because they're for boating."

"I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with ""Just in case I crash again"""

"Theory: The Winter Olympics were invented by the cowbell industry."

"How does the farmer count up his cows? ...with a cowculator."

"Nothing wakes you up faster than a 5 y/o kicking open your door like SWAT and jumping on you in bed."

"Next time you kill thousands of innocent people in a disaster, tell the judge you ""work in mysterious ways"" and see how far it gets you."