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Joke of the Day

"What time does Sean Connery like to go to Wimbledon at? Tenish."

"Why did the brother octopi look so alike? They were itentacle twins."

"What makes the Jewish Monopoly game so much harder than the original? Because the banker starts with all the money and never gives it away."

"What Star Wars character is most likely to get cancer? Leukemia Skywalker."

"What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic? Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style."

"I remember when I stayed with my girlfriend and her parents for the first time, and her dad wouldnt let us sleep together Which is a shame, because he's quite attractive"

"Why are gold fish orange ? The water makes them rusty !"

"So this one time I offered some shrimp to this Jewish friend of mine... Me: This shrimp is great. Wanna try some? Friend: Sorry, I'm Jewish. Me: No, it's free! *from a comic by Cyanide and Happiness*"

"What do performing bears at the circus get for lunch? 30 minutes."

"Jay-Z puts down his phone and rolls his eyes. ""The wife."" ""I hear that!"" says Kanye, trying do the same but accidentally going cross-eyed."