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Joke of the Day

"If you like pina coladas / Getting caught in the rain / Drink this pina colada / It was caught in the rain"

"My Girlfriend told me to give her 10 inches and make it hurt... So I fucked her twice and punched her in the mouth!"

"5-year-old: Why do you do chores if you don't like to? Me: The same reason you eat your vegetables. 5: Because Mom is scary? Bingo."

"I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes"

"They say my generation is completely narcissistic ... They're just jealous ..."

"I saw a Prius crash into a Subaru Outback the other day... There was granola everywhere."

"What do we want? LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do we want them? NNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWwwwwwwww"

"If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to"

"You've seen those mobile trucks for grooming pets, I just saw a mobile barbershop truck for humans and thought... I wonder if a dog drives that?"

"Have you heard about the new movie, ""Constipation""? It hasn't come out yet."