97609

Joke of the Day

"I deliver jokes the same way UPS delivers packages... ...mangled and missing the most important parts."

"I keep having this dream that I'm being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?"

"Did you hear Rolf Harris is dyslexic? rofl"

"What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes? Remorse code"

"'Here's a good book' said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. 'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No thank you' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'"

"My grandma got breast cancer and is getting a mastectomy. That's certainly a weight off her chest."

"My dad always told me to watch out for number one... ... he bites."

"Officer: How high are you? Me: No officer it's hi how are you."

"My favorite joke: What do hillbillies do for Halloween? Pump kin."

"What do you plant ... What do you plant, to grow a really big plant that has nothing wrong with it? Dyslexic acorns. They grow into A-ok trees."