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Joke of the Day

"If I ever go missing,,, I hope they put my photo on bottles of OCD medication, cuz you know those people won't stop looking."

"I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache, And then suddenly she's not your friend anymore..."

"A guy walks into a burn ward... and he says ""hey, you with the face!"""

"What do you call a magic owel? Hoo-Dini!"

"Chuck Norris can win a game of chess in only one move...... a roundhouse kick to the face."

"Two bacteria walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve bacteria here."" And the bacteria says, ""But we work here. We're staph."""

"Who's the best grammar Nazi? Adolf Hitler's grandmother."

"What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet? The finish line of the Boston Marathon."

"Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments? Because they were for test porpoise only"

"I'm wearing black with navy blue today. Fight me. Any bruising will only serve to tie it all together."