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Joke of the Day

"You know the Yahoo hack is not that bad... at least someone knows my password to my Yahoo account."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill and Irishman? None. Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!"

"My iPhone could say that I have a voicemail from God and I still wouldn't listen to it."

"What is the difference between reindeer and caribou? Reindeer are the ones that fly."

"*passive aggressively cuts your birthday cake asymmetrically*"

"I watched my first Porn the other day I looked so much younger back then!"

"I really hate stoners... They are so blunt about everything."

"Man who run behind truck... get exhausted!"

"FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building"

"mom: brush your teeth and put on your pajamas me: mom i'm a grown man. i don't need u telling me how to get ready for story time."