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Joke of the Day

"What you call a responsible porn star? Fistfully conservative!"

"How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment."

"[before sex] HER: did you bring protection? ME: heck ya I did *slowly reaches into back pocket and pulls out nunchucks*"

"We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter."

"One of life's great pleasures is to watch two idiots agree on something and then hear one of them say ""Great minds think alike""."

"How do Muslims like their food served? Allah Carte"

"Just seen a midget struggling carrying a TV to his car. I said "" You need a hand with that flat screen mate?"" He said ""Fuck off dickhead, its an ipad"""

"What did the nucleus say to get the electron up? Up and atom!"

"Oh no! Playstation and Xbox online services are down! Someone call an ambulance! Wii U Wii U Wii U."

"How tall does the grass grow in Germany? Nein feet tall."