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Joke of the Day

"What you call a responsible porn star? Fistfully conservative!"

"When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"Hillary Clinton is running for president. She just sent the announcement via email."

"I hope my children have crippling OCD because free housekeeping would be sweet."

"Sephora is my favorite place to fart."

"What is Aladdin's favorite Pokemon? Magikarp. So he can take Jasmine to a Magikarpet Ride."

"Have you noticed that jokes starting with have you noticed' are usually shit!"

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key."

"A good education is pretty important, but I think being good looking might be more importanter."

"HAHA ME AND MY NEW BOYFRIEND QUIT SMOKING TOGETHER NO ONE WILL GET MURDERED FOR SURE."