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Joke of the Day

"Why do shower heads have 11 holes? Because -(insert group of people associated with the holocaust)- only have 10 fingers."

"I hear my ex is now into cross dressing & looking for same. At least that's what the Craigslist ad I just posted on his behalf says."

"Why did the mountain climber quit halfway through his climb? He really wasn't feeling up to it."

"A woman walks into a bar She walks up to the counter and says to the bartender, ""Gimme a double entendre."" So he gives it to her."

"What's the difference between art and junk? A plaque."

"Can someone come to my house and tie me to my toilet? I keep falling off. I shit, you knot."

"I'm forever disappointed that a group of squids isn't called a squad."

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am...Can you believe that, 2:30am!? Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes"

"[Ghost describing stalker to sketch artist] ""He was a yellow circle with a demonic mouth."" *holds up drawing of Pac-Man* *sobs* THAT'S HIM!"

"My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization."