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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite element in the periodic table? Gold. Why the fuck would a pirate need Argon?"

"Q: Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it? A: A blonde tried to shoot herself!"

"*hops off a horse* alright buddy, your turn"

"What do I do when my luggage gets tired? I rest my case."

"I respect the guy who drives his Blue BMW through the White Castle drive thru. It's like he's saying: ""I'm better than youbut not by much."""

"My waiter asked, ""would you like sour cream, bacon and chives on your potato?"" ""That's a loaded question."""

"*says grace before snorting a fat rail of cocaine*"

"Erectile Dysfunction is hard to live with"

"What is the most noble office supply? The ruler!"

"Falling asleep at work didn't get me in trouble. Falling asleep at work and snoring got me in trouble."