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Joke of the Day
"I have no super powers. I'm guessing I'm the villain."
Next Joke
"How does a Space Marine from Warhammer 40K get fit? By doing Squats."
"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me while he was dying. It seemed really important to him that I have it."
"My girlfriend feels she needs 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in her shower & if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor"
"This Just In For News A man apparently, we assume, was black, and we assume, was shot, and we assume, by a police officer. More details, we assume, later."
"I always yell ""I'm not masturbating!"" when someone knocks on my office door so they know I'm not masturbating."
"How do you catch a rabbit? Hide behind a tree and make carrot sounds."
"I'm having a meeting tomorrow at 5 for people that have trouble ejaculating. If you can't come, just let me know."
"Finished a jigsaw puzzle in 5 minutes today.. surprising because the box said 4-6 years."
"Why do girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even."