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Joke of the Day

"* Falls down rock face * Breaks legs. Bleeds profusely * Slowly reaches for pocket * Pulls out phone * Checks twitter notifications"

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"My favorite romance novels begin with ""Preheat oven to 350 degrees"""
"What do you get when you cross a peach with a bunny? Something punny."
"Back in the day... ...cars were made in Flint and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico..."
"What do you get when you cross a mountain and a desert? Very tired feet."
"What is an amputees favorite movie? Armageddon."
"Where does a mansplainer get his water? From a well, actually..."
"My girlfriend told me that I never think for myself. How should I respond? Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD"
"What do you call a fat mexican jedi? Obese Juan Kenobi"
"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because when she reaches 69, she gets a frog in her throat."
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