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Joke of the Day

"How Gabe Newell counts to 10 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10"

"What do you call a Chinese man with one foot? Taiwon Shou."

"It was so difficult giving Dracula fellatio! I guess I went down for the count."

"Life is too short for my book of 5 letter words."

"What is a cucumber and a dolphin doing in the same room? Sushi"

"Why was Thor so worried about his hair looking good? because he is a Norsissist."

"I can't afford Ugg boots, so I just never shave below the knee to create the illusion that I'm wearing them."

"What are condoms for? Condoms are for fucking pussies, and for assholes."

"What do Saudi guys and girls have in common? They all get stoned constantly."

"I was thinking about Billy Mays the other day... I decided he's in heaven partying like it's nineteen ninety-nine ^(plus shipping and handling.)"