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Joke of the Day

"the cvs cashier asked me how im doing as i put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. ""not great man ive got diarrhea"" i told him"

"Jewish mothers How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb? *Exasperated sigh* No it's fine, I'll just sit here in the dark!"

"I call my penis ""my aircraft carrier"" Because there are always seamen in it."

"""I used to be the Internet!"" - The Library"

"I didn't believe my friend when he told me who the Canadian Prime Minister was... turns out it was Trudeau."

"""Give it to me! Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella."

"What's the difference between Russian football fans and an old drunkard in a bar at closing time? Kicking the old drunkard out won't start world war III."

"I just read a list of ""100 Things To Do Before You Die"". I was pretty surprised that ""yell for help"" wasn't one of them."

"Grading system for students in India: A - Average B - Below average C - Can't have dinner D - Don't come home F - Find a new family"

"My favorite response to someone asking how something works... ""Magic"" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy"