96345

Joke of the Day

"I have a spoon devoted solely to peanut butter so things aren't really looking up."

"No, YOU didn't tighten the cap on my urine sample"

"A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vender and says.. ""Make me one with everything"""

"Just found this hillarious joke I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"Daughter: Daddy, why do you have to go to work everyday? Me: Do you like clothes? Daughter: Not really Me: Shut up"

"What do Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville have in common ? They both shafted minors in the 1980's."

"Why did the pasta get in trouble? Because he was stroganoff!"

"I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo."

"What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear. I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes."