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Joke of the Day
"I'm never more aware that I don't have boobs than when I'm paying for my own drink."
Next Joke
"What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres? PUNisher"
"Knock knock Who's there? Control Freak. Now you say ""Control Freak who?"""
"Why did the Mexican throw his wife into the river? Tequila"
"A man pickpockets a random person and steals her credit card as the man walks off with the card, he says to himself 'hasta la visa'."
"Cats that run under your legs display the same genius as someone walking into traffic."
"Doctor Doctor I keep dreaming of bats creepy-crawlies demons ghosts monsters vampires werewolves and yetis. Doctor: How interesting. Do you always dream in alphabetical order?"
"Did you hear about the pessimistic German vegetarian? He feared the wurst"
"If you're a vegan w a gluten allergy who doesn't own a TV do you put it on a business card or just wait to force it into every conversation?"
"An Eel asked an Eagle: do you know why we can't team up? Eagle: No, why? Eel: Because it would be EEL-Eagle!"