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Joke of the Day

"I'm never more aware that I don't have boobs than when I'm paying for my own drink."

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck"

"[job interview] ""Name one of your strengths"" I didn't stab anyone today ""That's not-"" Yesterday wasn't so good tho"

"You know Santa came when.. There's more milk in the glass than when you left it."

"I'm old school when it comes to video games and by that I mean I turn into a senior citizen who yells ""which one am I?"" every 30 seconds."

"A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind. And now, we wait..."

"How do you confused people in the 90s? Tell them ""In 2016, we will be able to refer to someone as ""Sir and/or Ma'am"" And still be assuming someone's gender."""

"How can you tell that your girlfriend is getting fat? She fits into your wife's clothes."

"What is Trump's favourite movie? Wall-E."

"Why do Polish people's names end in 'ski'? Because they can't spell toboggan."