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Joke of the Day
"I used to play teeball... I stopped playing after I struck out"
Next Joke
"Dear Face Book you keep offering up people for me to friend, but then you get all concerned and ask me how I know them. You can't be the pimp and the cop!"
"You know how racist make their pancakes? With white powder."
"How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb? None. There are no light bulbs in the closet. Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there's no light inside the closet"
"Girls storing chips in their bras...pfft amateurs. I've got spaghetti and half a taco from this afternoon in there"
"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph not essay"
"That song from Frozen is really getting old... I kind of wish people would just... Let it go"
"God wasn't trying to get Marry pregnant with Jesus. Turns out he was wearing a holey condom."
"My dog has no nose. That's terrible! How does he smell? Awful."
"When her friend visits, my 2yr old just wants to hug her a lot... & keep her away from the toys. I feel that way about my friends & my vodka"