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Joke of the Day
"How do you make someone holy? You beat the hell out of them"
Next Joke
"When my girlfriend complains about how bad her day was I like to hold her hands Because shes deaf"
"How many Highlanders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE."
"Normally I find Ted Cruz's message to be more off point But last night he proved to be undoubtedly a more-on candidate and a moving speaker"
"Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!"
"What is long hard and makes you cry. Your cell mate"
"""Sorry, boss. I can't come in today."" ""Why not?"" [fakes a sore throat] ""I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."""
"a future joke: A Hispanic cop pulls over a white guy... white guy- ""Why not you stop bugging us minorities and go back to gardening"""
"I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy ...and my face smashes right into the mirror."
"Why shouldn't you get stoned and reddit?"