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Joke of the Day

"I just established the five hour rule for tequila spilled on the floor."

"Do you know how to really disappoint a fellow redditor? [Repost] [Deleted] *repost*"

"What is the difference between a baby and a feminist? Eventually, the baby grows up and stops crying. Edit: This turned fun!"

"My kids teach me something every day. Today my 1-year-old taught me how much plumbers cost per hour. Who flushes a potato?"

"The only meal my girlfriend ever makes for me is alphabet soup because even when we aren't fighting she still loves to put words in my mouth"

"What's a nuclear scientist's favourite food? Fission chips."

"If it's true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?"

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba na na naaa"

"I've got a mentally disabled flamboyantly homosexual friend. I describe him as being flame retardant."

"What's the most annoying thing about trying to remove the panties off a girl when having sex? The screaming and the fighting"